It's the SpSAJACEA Awards!

I have finished marking the exams!  168 English exams, all done!  One thing I noticed was there weren't quite so many amusing answers this time which I'm going to claim is because they're improving in English.  Fortunately, however, there were enough to have

 The Second possibly Semi-Annual Jibjokha Amusing and Confusing Exam Answer Awards!

Hello and Welcome.  We have reached the end of the school year but certainly not the end of amusing and confusing answers. 

For the first award, we have another Wol's Award for creative spelling.  There was only one student who really met the requirements for this award with their effort of 'aulecuehole.'  This students did not believe that the traditional spelling of 'alcohol' was intimidating enough when warning others of its dangers so created a much more forbidding word.  Congratulations and may your creativity know no limits!

Next we have Ash's Award for Grooviness.  This goes to a student who was writing about a Diwali celebration they had attended and apparently how to deal with any Candarian demons which may happen to show up. Though the judges are not entirely sure what was meant by 'We play some boomstick' but it certainly deserves an award from Ash.

Now comes the Adorable Effort Award.  This award is given for those answers which didn't quite seem to answer the question but good on you for having a go. 

Third place goes to a slightly confusing answer to the question 'Describe Betsy's Mother.'  (Not technically a question but never mind) The Award winning answer was simply 'Knuckles.'  So well done to third place. Not sure what you meant, but well done.

For Second place I must first mention the poem that the question was from.  It was about a ghost who goes into a deaf woman's house one night and has fun breaking things and making a mess while the lady sleeps on.  The student was asked to give a description of the ghost's personality but unfortunately got confused by the line 'What a pickle the poor wife sees' because the answer given was the very sweet 'The ghost was kindhearted because he made the wife pickle.'  (In the student's defence, such figures of speech can be tricky)

But First place goes to the effort for the question which asked students to change the sentence 'Dorji was eating an apple' to begin with 'An apple...'  Instead of playing around with active and passive voice the student technically did what was asked and gave the answer 'An apple was eating Dorji.' 

 

The winner may have seen this picture which makes human devouring fruits make so much more sense.

So well done for all the Adorable Efforts.

It is now time for Bruce's Philosophy Award.  This is an award given to those students that wrote a sentence so deep that it really made the judge think about life.  And need a drink.

The runner up was a sentence which made the judge's question their sense of self in this digital age.  ' I am number and number.'  This sentence is clearly delving into the concept of humanity being stripped away and leaving people and mere lines of code as lives become more and more reliant on the internet.  Clearly.

But the winner wrote a sentence which made the judges think about if we do not give sustenance and help to others, can we truly be happy?  The metaphorical 'If we are no lunch are we happy?'  discusses the need for humans to be social animals and not only rely on others but have others rely on us.   Then the judges needed another drink.

So congratulations to the budding philosophers.

Now we have the 'You May Have the Position Slightly Wrong' Award.  This award goes to students who may have made a mistake but they might have actually meant that.

The runner up is the possible misquoting of a famous saying which many people say and far fewer believe.  In fact, many may prefer the students statement which was 'Money can buy happiness' but it does not quite fit with GNH.

The winner however, went with something which we probably all have wanted to say or write at one time or another but have lacked the courage to do so.  In the letter section of the exam 'Without due respect' was written as the opening line.  The judges were unsure if these two efforts were intentional or not, hence adding 'may' to the award title.

Time for Granny Weatherwax's Award for Witchcraft.  A first time award which has two students winning in a tie.  The judges were again unsure if the students meant exactly what they wrote but awarded them all the same for the efforts of 'This will be in the seance of our school' and 'That is your future seance.'  Interestingly enough, the two students were in different classes and writing on completely different topics.  Still, Granny Weatherwax was impressed and would like headology brought to the curriculum next year.

An Honorary Award of If I Read That One More Time I'll Scream goes to roughly 70 percent of class 7.  The award goes to all the students who told me about their favourite 'flim' to watch and, in another question, encouraged me not to 'loose' time.  So I shall try and find some flims to watch and make sure that I keep time nice and tight.

And finally we come to Miss Malaprop's I Don't Think That's What You Meant Award.  Many students tried for this award, including the student who told me all about their 'beast' friend and another who said that their friend was very 'energy' with them after a fight (didn't mention what type of energy but probably sound if it was about a fight).

The third place, however, goes to a student who encouraged their brother to go to 'clogged.'  Possibly a slight Freudian slip here as in college, your brain often does feel quite clogged.

The second place goes to a student who, at first glance, seemed to be encouraging us to associated with friendly and good examples of Canada's national animal.  'If you have good beavers you will be good.' was the silver sentence which has encouraged me to include 'behaviour' into a spelling list next year.

But the gold goes to a sentence which the judges hope is a malaprop but nobody could think of what the student actually meant.  Perhaps you can solve the puzzle of  'If we don't have knowledge then we cannot take our proper urine specially in the town areas.'    

And with that we end our Awards ceremony and say congratulations to all our winners.  Remember, with the right amount of not reading the question proper mixed with a dash of confusion, you too could be the proud winner of an award for an unintentionally humorous exam answer!

(I will just add that a startling number of students managed to get references to 'beautiful snakes' and 'cute lizards' into their essays.  At least they listened to some things I said!)

And I shall be leaving for Australia in 13 days!  T'eo!

Hugs to All and see at least the Australians soon!

p.s. References were made to 'Winnie the Pooh,' 'Evil Dead/Army of Darkness,' 'Monty Python' and 'Equal Rights' by Terry Pratchett if you were curious.